If you lost your job as a proprietary trader in an investment bank this year, Bluecrest was the place to go for rehabilitation. Over the past 12 months, the London-based hedge fund has hired traders from Nomura, Credit Suisse, Deutsche Bank and Bank of America Merrill Lynch. It has also picked up traders from rival hedge funds SAC and Brevan Howard.

So far, this hiring has not paid off. The Wall Street Journal reports that 2013 is turning into one of the worst years ever for Bluecrest. Its $16bn key fund, BlueTrend, run by Brazilian-born Leda Braga, is down around 10%. Another fund, BlueCrest Capital International, run by founder Michael Platt, is flat. Investors are reportedly getting restless. One, Persimmon Capital Management LP, says it’s pulling its investment in BlueTrend, which has simply become too large.

Separately, CityAm’s diarist has attended a London hedge fund brunch. Conversational topics therein were reportedly very varied. They included: ‘Xstrata’s Mick Davies’ new venture – flop or fly? 2. The similarities between hedge fund managers and psychopaths. 3. The fact that Wills and Kate’s wedding has made it impossible to get a table at the Goring…’

Meanwhile:

M&A bankers had a dreadful fourth quarter – deals were down 40% in the US and Europe. (Bloomberg)

JPMorgan’s sale of its commodities business is causing a few problems. Potential buyers are trading partners (who could trade against it), and the bank won’t release much in the way of data. (Financial Times)

TPG Capital, a private equity fund, has hired Adnan Khalf, a Credit Suisse associate, for its distressed team. (Financial News)

Deutsche Bank wants to sell its uranium trading unit. (Bloomberg) 

Banks are racing to confess all and snitch on competitors in an effort to avoid EU fines for FX fixing. (Bloomberg) 

Everything you’ve ever wanted to know about investment banking in Russia. (Euromoney)

Psychological testing shows entrepreneurs absorb and embrace ambiguity. Non-entrepreneurs don’t. (Harvard Business Review)    

The complete guide to negotiating a raise. (Quartz) 

Carlyle has made an unfunny Christmas film featuring its senior staff. (Dealbook)